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"I masturbate..." Day Nine
"I masturbate..." Day Nine
Giclee Print on Moab Photo Matte Paper

"I am a master masturbater. I am a well oiled and skilled masturbating machine. I have polished and fine-tuned my talent and mastered it into a science. I can come all day long for myself. Since I have the stamina of roughly 60 horny goats. What else would you expect from a mischievous faun like me?!

I have been practicing the art of masterbating since I was five. Even though I was raised by Bible-thumping Christian fundamentalists I some how saw past the bullshit of hairy palms and God watching and had no shame in my childhood. If God was watching me jack off I think that is super creepy more than me being wrong... doesn't he have more important things to do than be a icky pedophile? When I was six I discovered the magical water jets in my friends pool and would never miss a chance to get creative with sprinkler heads. Water was a big part of my life because I was born in water and I grew up in Arizona, it's so hot there you have to be in the water if you are outside during the summer or you will die of heat exhaustion, seriously. When I discovered my mom's Hitachi Magic Wand I shared it with the girl next door when I was seven. I almost electrocuted my mini dick off when it shorted out and it caught my bed sheet on fire! I really don't know how my parents didn't find out.

I remember the day the shame finally kicked in, I was around thirteen. At this age I realized I wasn't growing a penis and instead blood was painfully gushing out of a hole I didn't even know was there (Christians don't do sex-ed very well and I didn't understand that I was a "female".) so I wasn't feeling too hot about myself. Since I didn't know I was trans, or that transness even existed, I just thought I was a crazy demon-possessed freak. I lost interest for a while and once I left the Bible alone and started researching reality by reading other books, the Internet wasn't really ready for my questions in the 90's, I re-discovered how kick-ass orgasms are. I learned loving yourself makes orgasms feel so much better. Hate-masturbating, which is jacking off while hating one's self, takes a lot of energy out of me and the orgasm is all short and not that satisfying - comparable to eating a pop-tart for breakfast. If I am super into myself and figuring out every beautiful inch of my body and loving every molecule my orgasm lasts for so long and it is like an instant recharge - comparable to eating eggs and toast with butter and honey ... I love mixing food and sex together, but that's for an other shoot and/or blog. - Puck Goodfellow